Keeping Score

I read a blog post on a step-mommy blog (yep, that’s really a thing) recently about keeping score. If I can remember where, I’ll link to it. Basically, we all keep score whether we mean to or not. Whether, like it was in that case, between parents’ households in a shared custody situation, or like it can be sometimes, between members of one household.

It’s hard sometimes not to keep score – mentally. Sometimes the things we all do in our houses feel unbalanced and like we’re pulling more than our fair share. And it’s usually those times I find myself wondering why I’m always doing the dishes/laundry/etc. and those are the times it’s easiest to feel unappreciated.

In those times, I find it useful to think about why I am doing what I am doing. My doing laundry today means that The Boyfriend can focus on writing a paper for class and running conference calls for work. My taking The Minions out for breakfast meant the house was quiet for a couple of hours for him to work. It’s easier to feel like a team if I focus on how my contributions are helping.

This is not to say I hold a disproportionate share of responsibility in our house. We’re really good at balancing, actually. But there are still those days and this is how I handle them.


One thought on “Keeping Score

  1. Not that we aren’t ever taken advantage of, but mostly we infer being trivialized in the course of performing everyday tasks, especially those we loathe. I know the less I like doing something the more resentful I am of not having my sacrifice recognized. So silly. Yours is a much better idea,a kin to looking at your contributions as filling the family bucket, rather than the emptying of your own.

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