On Awkward Questions

Minion 2 is just about to turn six.  We’ve always been close – he was just three when The Boyfriend and I started dating.  We joke that I fell for him before The Boyfriend.  He’s adorable and charming and a total handful sometimes.  

Lately, I’ve been getting the strangest, most awkward questions from him.  He never directs these things to The Boyfriend, instead always asking me directly about God (he’s in a religious kindergarten, heavy on the god stuff) that I try to deflect with “some people believe that,” trying to leave my own beliefs vague.  Some day, he’ll understand more and if he asks, we can chat then about what I believe, until then, sure, kid, God gives you eternal life and you’ll live happily ever after in heaven.  Another favorite was “where did the kitties come from?”  Yeah…  I tried to deflect it to The Boyfriend who, from the stove, yelled a firm “Nope! All you!”  Um, well…  They came from their mommy.  “Did she poop them out or throw them up?”  I start to squirm.  He’s five.  Why is he doing this to me?  It’s like he knows it’s uncomfortable and he’s actively trying to make it worse.  Not sure what he knows, I ask him if he knows where he came from.  “Mommy’s tummy!”  A-ha!  That’s where the kitties came from too.  

The hardest of these awkward questions came this week while I was driving the Minions home from school.  “Why did Daddy break up with Mommy?”  I don’t know what the kids know about the divorce – I came onto the scene at the end.  I don’t know what they’ve been told by either side (though, I do vividly recall on a road trip listening to The Boyfriend try to explain to the Minions that though their mother says otherwise, their father is not a terrible person and he did not break a promise to her…  That was infuriating but I held my tongue).  All I could say is that I didn’t know – I didn’t know them then – and that I bet his dad would have an answer for him when we got to the house.  

On one hand, I love that he trusts me enough to ask these things.  On the other, I am so scared of saying the wrong thing or not having a good enough answer for him.  Though it’s awkward and kind of tough, I wouldn’t trade these questions or the silliness and laughter that he brings to my life for anything.  I just hope I leave the same impression on him.  


One thought on “On Awkward Questions

  1. Your instincts are good. Ascertaining what they know or what they think is the answer is the best opening strategy. It keeps you from over-sharing and gives you clues as to what information they really need. Answering honestly will never be wrong, even when your answer is “I don’t know.”

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